A Journey to Total Health (John Tozeland)
Who am I? Where is the real me? Why do I always sabotage myself? These are very common questions that I hear often. It seems that in our western world, we have become alienated from who we are. We have taken on personalities and characteristics that are not natural to us. We have adapted to be the kind of person that we think we should be rather than who we are. I believe that the most important journey that we can take is the journey into our core, a journey reconnecting with ourselves.
For many of us when we consider the age old question of who we are, we become confused. There is often a push and pull inside. I am a devoted father, daughter, friend, and yet I seem empty. I give and give and somehow do not become full. There is a void or emptiness inside of me. When we attempt to enter into our inner landscape, we are confronted with pain, fear, sorrow and anger. For some as soon as they begin the journey inside of themselves, their conscious mind takes over, it becomes busy, distracting from the journey into relaxation. And yet it is the very journey into relaxation that opens our connection into our inner self. There was a time when we had that connection, when we were whole and complete. There was a time when we really honored the magnificent being that we are. Sometimes looking at children we can see this connection, this innocence, and yet before long most of our children are taught not to brag about their strengths, not to honor their impulses. They are taught that there is right and wrong, good and bad. They are taught to judge themselves and others. Love then becomes conditional. "If you behave this way I will love you, if you make the right choices then you are good." From there the child quickly learns to judge themselves, that certain parts of them are bad, and perhaps even evil. In defense we then put up a wall, or barrier around our inner core, our Higher Self, and we stay in the conscious mind, staying in control, doing the "right thing". And yet the paradox is that as long as we stay in control, we actually release personal control over our lives. We actually give that control over to the significant people whose judgments over what is right and wrong, have programmed us. It is only through letting go of conscious control that we come into contact with our deep inner control. It is through surrender that this actually takes place. And yet it is the fear of losing control that prevents us from surrendering.
If I were to give you one gift, it would be the ability to surrender. It is in the experience of surrender that we release our internal boundaries. As we know, emotions and limiting beliefs are locked away inside of our bodies. It is as if the emotions are locked inside of a balloon, preventing the energy from flowing freely. Through the use of instruments that measure the energy field (aura) around our body, we know that when we are in a negative emotional state, our energy field is weak, and when the negativity releases, the energy field expands. When we are in a state of love, joy & happiness, our energy field is at it's greatest, and we can not hold negative thoughts and emotions. It is in this state that the boundaries holding emotions dissolve. It is in the state of love that we let go of attempts to control our selves or others. It is in the state of pure love that we truly surrender and freely trust that the universe will protect us.
But what is it that prevents us from this surrender? Why do we hold back? As we grow up, and start consciously controlling our lives, we start creating protective shields around the core of who we are. These shields are made up of lies and false beliefs, I am bad, I don't deserve to be happy, love hurts. It is this core, the center of us that is what we call the Higher Self, or our Spirit, the essence of who we are. and the shields prevent this essence from coming out.
The healing journey is a journey inside, a journey through the shields, releasing the false beliefs and negative emotions. It is not until we enter into our core, honoring our magnificence, reconnecting with our essence that we truly heal. As we forgive and surrender our attachment to hate, fear, guilt, resentment, the barriers inside dissolve and we move closer to our essence, closer to our true selves. This journey requires integrity and commitment. It is not always easy to pop those bubbles, sometimes we might be tempted to back away, but it is only by confronting these ghosts, learning the lessons of the past and surrendering that you may connect again with your true essence.
Did you know that we were created to live in total health? That is our natural state! In fact we have a blue print for perfect health in our consciousness. Yet most of us experience states of dis-ease from time to time, and some of us constantly live in a state of ill health. How can that be? Shamanic traditions say that we have a river of energy flowing through our bodies. A series of streams and rivers that when in their natural state, flow freely through our body. When those rivers are clear, we are in a state of love, joy and happiness. Our life is easy and we have energy to spare.
Through time our river system becomes polluted. Polluted by our thoughts, our emotions, our beliefs, the food we eat, etc. Log jams form causing the water to back up and over flow the banks. In time the overflowing water creates new channels, and a new pattern, or habit is formed. The goal of emotional, physical and spiritual growth is to clear out the pollution, take down the log jams and restore the old pathways and rivers.
According to Dr. Paul Goodwin from Alaska State University, when emotions and limiting beliefs are locked in our bodies there is actually a functional boundary formed around it. This boundary effectively blocks the flow of energy. As messages are sent in our bodies, they run into these blocks and are deflected somewhere else in the body. Needless to say this causes dis-ease, as energy does not reach the point it is heading for.
In the western world we are taught to compartmentalize ourselves. We are taught to "grin and bear it" to " endure" pain, etc. We tend to think that we are only a conscious mind and emphasize our will power. We prevent ourselves from experiencing our emotions by continually denying them. Shamanic traditions like Huna and Midewin teach us that we have three selves: Our conscious mind which is our will power; our unconscious mind, which is the domain of our emotions and beliefs; and our higher self which is our perfection, our god selves. In our culture, we are generally taught that all we are is a conscious mind, yet it is this belief that prevents us from total health. We alienate ourselves from our inner selves, a part of us that is our best friend, a part of us that knows how to create perfect health, a part of us that respects us so much that it will not interfere until asked. As long as this alienation persists, we are prevented from total health.
The greatest gifts that you can be given is to be introduced to this "inner you". Once the communication is opened up, transformation begins, Sometimes this connection is made through meditation, sometimes through prayer, sometimes through hypnosis, sometimes through body work, etc. Once this connection is made the unconscious mind is ready to clear out the log jams so the energy can flow freely once more. When the unconscious mind is clear, we can then connect once more with our Higher Selves, our perfection. Alternate or complementary therapies, to be effective, I beleive, must address the deeper parts of the individual to work with the cause of the dis-ease, not just the symptoms. I would like to quote from a handout that I received from Dr. Henri Marcoux, a Network Chiropractor in Winnipeg.
"... to be who you are, your nervous system must be clear of who you are not. By greater contact of your 'educated mind' (conscious mind) with your 'infinate consciousness' (unconscious mind and Higher self) you are transformed. Planetary healing begins with personal healing."
This is the goal of the Discovering the Power Within program. During this weekend we clear the unconscious mind of fear, anger, sadness, shame/guilt and limiting beliefs such as "I'm not good enough" " I can't change" etc. This then sets the scene for your connection to your Higher self, connecting you to your own blue print of perfect health, to your "infinate conscious". Participate in your own healing. Clear the log jams that have been holding you back. Bring back the natural flow of energy in your body. Reclaim physical, emotional and spiritual health. You owe it to your self, you owe it to your relationships, you owe it to your world.
Our mission is global transformation through personal growth. We assist people to move from the darkness into the light, so that they can unfurl their wings and take flight. We recognize the seed of magnificence inside each of us that grows into strength and an unboundedness of spirit. The depths of despair sometimes seem to draw us in as a whirlpool, and yet we can just as easily use the momentum of that whirlpool and fly to freedom. Through acknowledging our past, looking into the past, we can truly be free to take flight. Too often we want to forget the past and deny the lessons that we needed to learn. Change and transformation only come after confusion. We need to push through the confusion, appreciate the chaos, while the change incorporates itself at the deepest levels of the body, mind and spirit. For change to be complete, we must touch the spirit deep inside of us, for the whirlpool also draws us into our core, once more going through the confusion to our essence. Once we heal inside, connecting to the essence of who we are, then we can take our place wherever we are and shine that essence out to heal the world.
For some time now we have been on a quest for a logo that would symbolically represent Trance-Action Consultants. We know how the unconscious mind speaks with symbols, and so we wanted to create a symbol that would represent what we do.. A symbol that your unconscious mind would understand. Yet we also know that our mental filters distort, delete and generalize information. In short, what you see in the logo and what I see might be two different things. After much trial and error, we have come up with a logo that we are all delighted with.
I am especially grateful to Linda Furtado for her inspired design and original art work, and Leann Chastco for her computer knowledge and patient fine tuning of the logo and layout.
How do you respond to the symbology? What does it mean to you? If you have any feedback for us on the logo, we would appreciate your response.
If I were to ask you if you wanted to make a difference in the world around you, you would probably answer with an emphatic YES!! And you can make a difference. In fact in many ways you can not help but make a difference. The real question is "How much of a difference and in what direction?"
Sometimes people say to me "You know I don't really have much influence on people. How can something that I do affect the world around me?" The truth is that you come into contact with all kinds of people everyday. Now just think about it for a minute, if you were in contact with maybe 10 people a day, and they each connected with 10 people a day, who in turn each connected with 10 people a day, and so on, wouldn't you have a great impact on the world? Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, who is the founder of Transcendental Meditation talks about what he calls the Maharishi effect. He has studied geographic areas, and what these studies show is that when ten percent of the population in any geographic area meditates, (which is just really a process of stilling the mind, relaxing and letting go of the tangles of the outside world), the crime rate drops, the amount of civil dispute drops, and that there is more harmony in the area.
Have you ever heard about the story of The Hundredth Monkey? It is a study of monkeys' behaviour, off the Asian coast. What they wanted to do was study how monkeys behaved. They flew over every day and dropped down yams on the beach. The monkeys would pick up the yams and start to eat them but they'd be all sandy, and they'd spit it out. They wouldn't eat it. Day after day they'd test it out and they still wouldn't eat it. Then one day a little baby monkey took a yam that and was playing with it in the water, and the sand washed off. The monkey started eating the yam and it tasted good. Some of the other monkeys saw that and they started washing their yams. After about 100 monkeys started washing their yams in the water, monkeys on other islands that were totally separated, miles apart, started spontaneously washing their yams in the water too. Somehow what seemed to happen was that once the critical mass was achieved, the knowledge, the understanding went across time, boundaries, and space, and other monkeys were affected by it. We really do have an influence on the world. Not just our actions, but our inner most thoughts affect the world around us.
What I know in my work as a therapist, is that my state of mind affects the outcomes of my clients. That's why it is so important for the therapist to have done their personal work That's why it is important for you to congruently believe that your client can achieve their outcome. And it doesn't really matter if you are doing this for therapy to assist people to make changes, or whether you are doing it in education to assist people to learn or, in business to assist people to connect with those products and services that are important for them. It only matters that you be clear, that your unconscious filters are clear and that your goal/intention is clear.
You owe it to yourself, your family and your world to do your personal growth. This is possibly the most spiritual work that you can do, because your healing affects all of creation. This is why all of our trainings focus on Personal Growth while learning the skills for transformational communication.
Have you ever noticed that when you are on the right path, that life seems to run along so smoothly, and when you are not, nothing seems to work out as planned? Well that has been my lesson over the past several months. When I reflect back, I cannot remember exactly when it was that I started to stray from my path, but little by little my world was not responding as well as it was before. Sure, some areas continued to run along easily, and I was still able to contribute meaningfully to my mission of Global Transformation, but in other areas I was running into brick walls. And I was clearly not reaching as many people as I could.
Despite all that I believe, and all of the personal work that I have done, there was still a lingering doubt that I could fully support myself and my family in private practice. As a result, I ignored the protests of my unconscious mind and proceeded to look at expanding my markets into the business community. To add to this I believed that I had to change what I had to offer for this community. I am grateful that the universe is so self correcting because I was confronted with reminders time and again that I was straying, and yet I did not heed the warnings for quite a while. I have often said that if we don't learn our lessons at the time, the unconscious mind has a wonderful way of repeating the lessons until we do learn them. Well, thanks to the persistent reminders the message was received, and I fully recommit myself to my true mission of Global Healing. A mission of teaching accelerated change technology to professionals and lay people. A mission of integrating the body mind and spirit to create transformation. Shortly after I realigned with my path, numerous possibilities opened up.
I am very honored to have been asked by the native community to join the team that went to Davis Inlet to assist with that community's healing. There is a long way for many of the native people of North America to go in overcoming the racism and abuse of the past. The road towards empowerment has been long and hard, and I am truly privileged to be a part of this process. My dream is that together we can accelerate the transformation, so that native peoples across North America discover their own magnificence, while respecting and honoring who they are.
Once more the lessons hold true. The obstacles that appeared this past year were but opportunities to learn and evolve, a chance to reaffirm my goals and refocus on what needs to be done to achieve the dream.
Frequently I have people come to me wondering what their life's purpose is. They seem to be drifting on aimlessly in life, with no clear direction or goals, often their lives seem stagnant without motion. Other times they seem to be stuck in the quagmire, unable to move forward. I have been there too. When I started University I was unsure of "what I wanted to be when I grew up." I basically went to University because it was expected of me. "To get ahead in the world I needed an education." Having no real personal goals, I gave very little effort to my first two years at University, and as a result my self esteem was at an all time low. I felt useless, a failure, unable to contribute meaningfully to the world. I seemed to bounce around from whim to whim. And it seemed that the less I did, the less I wanted to do. My thoughts were filled with doom and gloom.
I didn't realize it then, but as I look back on those times now there were times when I felt alive. There were times when my energy flowed more strongly. The highlight of my week was when I volunteered for a delinquent boys' group home, and at the Vaughn Street Detention Centre. I wasn't sure what it was, but I felt differently when I was there. I no longer believe in coincidences, but back then I thought that it was an interesting coincidence that in the Summer of 1970 I met a friend who was attending the new Bachelor of Social Work Program at the University of Manitoba. He was so excited about the program that I decided to apply. That fall I registered in that program to graduate in 1972. This was the beginning of a wonderful shift in my life. For the first time in years, I felt good a lot of the time. It seemed that without even trying, my marks improved and I graduated on the Dean's Honor Roll. It was there that I met and married Judy, my life long companion and best friend. What I didn't realize then was that as long as I was looking for answers from outside of myself, as long as I was trying to do what others wanted, I felt stuck. It took a long time before I really realized that the answers were inside of me.
The next several years were sporadic. I had understood that my purpose was some how to connect with their purpose, to connect with that deep spiritual part of themselves. I had a dream of impacting thousands of people, yet I felt totally inadequate. Besides, how could I make that kind of impact on the world? As my learning continued and I started seeking out the skills needed to make a powerful impact, I kept running into obstacles. I seemed filled with limiting beliefs. I was often overcome with fear. Every time I thought that I was on the verge of achieving a new milestone, the fear would come in. "What would others think?" "What if it didn't work?" "What if I hurt people more than I helped them?" Yet in looking back, every time that I felt backed into a corner, if I listened to the messages from deep inside of me, something would open up. I would be led to a new level of understanding, a new learning, a new confidence.
I believe that programmed somewhere deep inside of each of us is our Purpose, and I believe that we are always drawn towards that purpose. We have two choices. Either we can go with the flow, accepting and moving towards the fulfillment of our purpose, or we can try to fight it, paddling upstream. If we choose to move towards our purpose, our life unfolds in an enriching, joyful way, if not, we are pulled through the wringer, experiencing physical and emotional discomfort.
If you wonder what your purpose in life is, look to the times when your life is filled with love, joy and happiness. What are you doing then? Are things in your life falling into place, or is life a struggle? If you are wondering how you are doing in achieving your purpose look at your life. If it feels like you are driving with a flat tire, make some adjustments. To fully be on your path I believe that it is necessary for the unconscious mind to be clear of pent up emotions such as Anger, Sadness, Fear and Shame. To be living in a world of inner peace and harmony, it is important to recognize the beauty of you, to release limiting beliefs, and learn to have open communication with the deepest parts of yourself. It is this kind of personal transformation that will heal the world. When people learn to live in their purpose, when people learn to act on the messages from the God within, miracles happen. That is why I have dedicated my life to assisting in this kind of personal transformation. What I know is that the more I open up to my inner self, the more abundance I experience in my life. My purpose is to share this with as many people as possible. I hope you too find the joy of this in your life.
"Huna", is the traditional shamanic trainings of Hawaii. "Midewin", is a traditional way of teaching Pipe Carriers, and those who have been chosen to become healers by the healers and medicine people in the Aboriginal community in America. Midewin means, "The Way of the Heart".
I have been a Pipe Carrier for about ten years now and although I learn from all traditions and languages, I follow the Midewin Teachings because my foster father/grandfather was a Midewin Medicine Man. I did not know this until several years after his death even though I lived under the same roof. I thought all his visitors from all over the province were there to visit him because he was such a neat guy and a good trapper who had travelled far and wide. The visitors were obviously his "clients" and "patients".
I attended a training session called, The Secret to Creating Your Future® using Time Line Therapytm techniques on the recommendation of one of my teachers who is a succesful finance and real estate business man in the city of Winnipeg. I also had seen T.V. commercials about the program and knew it was a course I should evaluate.
By way of background, I have been a community development specialist for 25 years and have acted to create positive and lasting social and economic change in Inner City neighborhoods and Aboriginal communities including Metis settlements and Indian reserves. Six years ago I had discovered an excellent program which had a track record no other program has matched. However, it still had some flaws including cost, number of staff required, the long hours (12-18 for most of the five days).
I have been looking to improve the program by exploring others. It can get expensive when you attend many programs for evaluation. I had just invested into the Tony Robbins programs and was wanting to explore the rapid healing technologies of John Bradshaw, when I heard about John Tozeland's program. I was getting very selective about what programs to invest in. I decided to attend the Secret of Creating Your Future (TM) when I read about the course offering help in "getting aligned with your life's purpose".
I was amazed at the design of John's training and it's simple and immediate effectiveness in changing the meaning of past events. I feel that John Bradshaw's, program was an adaption from Time Line Therapy. During the clearing of the Time Line, it seemed as though I had been taken to the source of rapid or "accelerated" change/ that I was looking for!
My wife Doris and I, had recently been invited to assist in healing the suicidal depression occurring in Davis Inlet, Labrador. Six Innu children had attempted a group suicide by inhaling solvents. This event received international media attention. We were invited as a result of our work with one of the co-founders of the New Directions/Flying On Your Own Program, of Alkali Lake B.C. We had chosen to work with Mrs. Margaret Gilbert, exclusively because of her 15 years experience and her skills to handle and adapt to any situation in the training room. Doris, and I were so impressed with John's program and John as a person that we asked if he would join our team and experiment with an amalgamation of our program with his in Davis Inlet.
The merging of the two programs in Davis Inlet, was a resounding success. The shocker for Margaret and I was John's, teaching of Huna. The teachings were essentially those we learn in the various teachings in North America including the Midewin tradition which I follow. We had never seen the teachings done so well in a workshop setting including the use of the drum. The spiritual teachings were done with great respect, clarity and effectiveness.
Margaret, and I spoke of the teachings of Huna and joked about my accidental latching onto a White "Pipe Carrier". We were talking about Davis Inlet's request to learn about traditional teachings including the mythology and ceremonies. Margaret, and I were prepared to conduct Pipe Ceremonies, Sweats and to deal with questions as they arose. Little did we know that John's presence was to be of profound significance to the request. Specifically, we brought a Whiteman we accepted as being able to help us and this same Whiteman came with us not knowing he had already accepted our Way by his exploration and acceptance of the Aboriginal teachings of Hawaii, called Huna. This is significant because the teachings of both traditions emphasize "Acceptance". It is for this reason that we are not "missionary". After all, we are really brothers and sisters of a common Creator we call "Father" and/or "Grandfather". Out of this experience, John and I developed a 2 1/2 day program called Discovering the Power Within, healing the past and connecting with powerful inner resources. I write this article in the Spirit of Alkali Lake. My legal name is Christopher J. McLeod, and my Indian name is, Red Eagle.
Have you ever wondered why some changes in your life have happened so effortlessly, and other times change seems to be such hard work? I have always thought that for a change to be worth it's salt, it must take no effort to maintain. After all if our natural state is to be continuously living in Love Joy & Happiness, that means it should take no effort. Is that not what natural means? To be second nature, or to flow out from within. All around us we hear the cries from therapists and clients that change is not easy, that it takes a lot of work, that you have to go through pain & suffering. I just can not buy that. Those beliefs come from people feeling hopeless and helpless. Probably the most common criticism I get from my Professional Colleagues is that nothing can be quick and easy and still provide long lasting change. Yet in my experience change can be quick and long lasting.
I have personally experienced such change. Several years ago I seemed to be held back from what I wanted. I felt a nagging negativity inside that I could not shake. A friend and fellow student who was studying with Tad James at the time did some work with me using Time Line Therapy (TM), and at the point that the emotion went away, my body started shaking so much that I thought I was going to lift off the chair. I don't really understand what happened, but it felt like I was being rewired, and since then the negativity has gone, and all of the goals that I set seem to just effortlessly fall in place. I no longer have to do anything, I am just different. Similar experiences are reported to me time and time again by my students and clients.
As Robert Dilts says, we do certain change techniques, then a miracle happens and the change takes place. What seems to happen from a Metaphysical point of view is that at the deepest level everything is energy. Every part of our body is energy, and our behaviour and habits are a result of the energy flowing inside our body. Unfortunately due to our modern life styles of fast food, limited exercise, repressed emotions and environmental conditions such as electrical interference, pollution etc. our bodies create a number of "energy blocks". Change is about breaking through the energy blocks so that the energy flows differently in the body. The magic of change happens when those blocks are freed. Our true essence our inner self is then free to flow from us thus changing our behaviour and resulting in a positive impact on the world.
Years ago perhaps it was OK to settle for slow change, but now is the time of our planet's greatest need. She can't wait much longer, She needs you. It is the responsibility of us all to shine our Love Joy and Happiness to the world. We must move ahead as fast as we can. It is the Mission of Trance-Action Consultants to empower the individual with skills from the most advanced communication and change technology available today. If you are interested in your own personal and Spiritual growth, come and join us for our Discovering the Power Within trainings. During this training we will clear the negativity from your past and using Huna and Midewin, the Shamanic traditions of Hawaii and North America, connect you with powerful inner resources. Right from the opening Pipe Ceremony to the closing connection to your Higher Self, this promises to be a transformational journey. If this speaks to you, if you want to join us in Global Transformation, come and play with us, participate at what ever level is right for you. We'd love to have you on our team.
We at Trance-Action Consultants have a Mission. And as with most missions, we are compelled toward achieving it. When we formed in 1989, our goal was to empower people through communication with the unconscious mind (trance) to take positive action in their life. Our view is that a healthy society is made up of healthy individuals. Thus by assisting people to be in rapport with their unconscious mind and be at cause in their lives, we are able to heal the world. An ancient Hopi legend says: " and 144 (thousand) light warriors with their shields totally balanced, respecting all paths will come to the planet in her time of need and teach the teachers." If ever there was a time of need it is now. Our planet needs us now. It is time for us to work together and heal the world.
In keeping with our Mission, this is a time of expansion and growth at Trance-Action Consultants, and there are a number of ways you can enhance our effort. We developed two powerful personal growth seminars, one called Discovering the Power Within, and the other one, Shamanic EmpowermentThese trainings will allow us to help literally thousands of people to clear the obstacles from the past and connect with powerful inner resources so that they can truly stand in their own light.
We have streamlined our NLP and Hypnosis trainings, and now there are two distinct phases of training for the NLP Practitioner Training called Personal Life Mastery.
Phase I Mastering the Unconscious Mind is a 9 day training and includes Hypnosis Certification from both the Manitoba Hypnotist's Association and the American Board of Hypnotherapy, as well as the Time Line Therapy tm training. Phase II Understanding the Unconscious Mind is a 9 day training and in combination with Phase I results in NLP Practitioner Certification. These trainings may be taken in any order.
Professional Life Mastery our Neuro-linguistic Programming Master Practitioner training is a 16 day intensive training teaching advanced Hypnosis, NLP and Time Line Therapytm skills as well as teaching some Shamanic skills for accelerated change.
Our Internship Program., Therapeutic Mastery is designed to facilitate students who really want to hone their therapeutic skills. There will be a small group component as well as individual supervision. Our goal is to establish Associate Therapists and Trainers who will work along with us in achieving our Mission
If you seem called to Heal The World and any of the above opportunities appeal to you, we invite you to join us. We each have a role to play, and whether you want to be a student for your own personal growth, or you want to become an associate, or you plan to be involved with us in any other way, your contribution is welcome. For we are nothing without you. To accomplish our Mission, we need you to make a commitment to be involved in the way that is right for you.
On my journey of personal and spiritual growth, I have come across and used many paths. It is my strong belief that there is only one truth, and yet there are many paths that lead to the truth. It is for this reason that I have studied practices from the East (Transcendental Meditation, Yoga, etc.) Huna from Hawaii, North American First Nations traditions and Christian traditions. There are aspects of all of these in my trainings and therapy. I have found the quest for personal and spiritual growth is a journey inside. As we clear the blocks/pain from our lives (Personal Growth), we open up to our Spiritual Self, our essence (Spiritual Growth). Once we discover this Power Within, transformational changes occur. Our life opens up to countless new opportunities.
For centuries we have been told that we needed mediators to communicate with God. We were told that we were cut off from God, and a "Priest class" was needed for us to receive God's blessings. These people kept ancient wisdom secret. Certain Spiritual exercises could only be performed by a select few. We had to go through the mediators, or we had to believe certain things to communicate with God. The "Priest classes" held the information secret and thus maintained power over the masses. This was seen in all Spiritual traditions. And even today there are those from all traditions who jealously guard the "Secrets". We are told that if you want to be "saved", you must go to confession, or the only way to salvation is through following a particular doctrine. Certain spiritual practices can only be practised by "Priests".
We are told that we can only teach certain chants, only certain people can lead healing circles, ceremonial instruments can not be accessed by all, you have to be the right colour to practice certain sacred ceremonies and so forth. All of that protectionism and hierarchical thinking is from the old paradigm. No longer do people need to study for years and years before given the ancient secrets. It is now time for all humankind to stand in their own light. It is time for us all to recognize and welcome the God within. It is time for all of the ancient secrets to be made public. It is for this reason that I have dedicated my trainings to teach the ancient wisdom, and to deepen the connection with the Higher Self. It is also for this reason that I have continued my journey exploring aboriginal traditions.
There have been many teachers for me along the way, and I am grateful to them all for the gifts that they have shared. Recently I have been studying the North American teachings and on my journey I came upon Red Willow Lodge, led by Jules and Margaret Lavalee. Jules and his colleagues freely give of the knowledge and wisdom of their traditions. Although there are those who believe that they should not teach all that they do, their goal is to spread the knowledge and assist all to connect with their spiritual selves.
This fall I had the privilege and honour to be guided on a vision quest by Jules, and what an experience! A vision quest is a period of time (four days and four nights) where the faster is alone with no food and no water. Each day is to honour one of the directions. During the four days, visions sometimes come to the individual. On the first day, before my last feast, we went into a Sweat Lodge Ceremony. During that sacred time a Buffalo came to me in a vision, dancing across the red hot grandfathers, and around the pit three native dancers in fine ceremonial dress danced. Little did I know that this Buffalo would continue to stay with me guiding and protecting me during the vision quest. Nor did I realize then that my Spirit name would be Capapama Tee Thit Ishkota Bazikay Achak (Wandering Buffalo Spirit). I was greeted on many occasions by the buffalo in the days to come, and he brought many other animals to my lodge to visit. On the first day of my vision quest I was confused by all of the animals that came to me. I thought that Jules had told me that the first day was honouring the plant world, and yet it was the animals that came. When Jules came at sun down and I shared my experience, he smiled and said that the first day was honouring the animal world, and the second day was honouring the plant world.
Day two started with a glorious sun rise, and I was met by a very old native woman. That day she took me through tall grass prairie. The grass was at least eight feet tall. We wandered through the grass and came upon a stream where she showed me the sacred plant Wickae and how to harvest it with a sharp rock. I was shown the way to offer tobacco and then I was led to a boggy area near by where we picked cedar boughs. Not too far away, at the edge of the tall grass we found sweet grass, and made our offering before picking some and braiding it. We then moved off to a desert like mountainous area and found sage to pick. I am not sure how long this journey took, but it seemed that most of the day was spent with this wise elder. We then returned to my lodge and I was shown how to dry out the sacred herbs and prepare them for use. Before I knew it the sun was setting, and Jules arrived.
I was feeling so strong and healthy that I told Jules that I thought I could do six days instead of four. He then told me that the next day was honouring the rock world, and that spirits might come and attempt to lead me astray. Shortly after he left I started getting stomach cramps that persisted. I had a very restless sleep that night, and awoke still feeling crampy. The whole next day I was listless and nauseated. I felt weighted down and could hardly get enough energy to move. I was warned by Jules not to journey with the spirits this day, so I stayed present in my body. Perhaps the creator supplied the cramps so that I would be aware of my body.
That evening when Jules came I shared my experiences with him and we talked about entering the fourth doorway. This doorway honoured the north and the elders. He told me that by now my body was slowing down and I was able to empathize with the elders. Shortly after he left the buffalo returned, and I heard a horse race by my tent, turn around and run away. A few minutes later I heard another horse race up and stop at a space some distance behind me. I later learned that at the same time, horsemen appeared to Dean Smith who was on his vision quest in a lodge several hundred feet behind me.
Shortly after this Jules came back and asked me to join the group at the sacred fire. I was told it was time to break the fast and start drinking some medicine tea that was prepared for us. At the fire were the other fasters, Clif MacDonald and Dean, and a group of friends and supporters who had been keeping the sacred fire burning since the start of our vision quest. After being regenerated by the tea, the fire and the friendship, I returned to my lodge to sleep. The next morning I arose with the sun again and prepared for my re-entry into the world.
This vision quest was an extremely powerful experience. I felt totally supported by the community of Red Willow Lodge, and made a close connection with some new guides. On my journey I continually look for ways to check with the creator to make sure that I am walking on the path that is meant for me. It is not always easy to know, and sometimes I need the patience of Job because I tend to want things to happen right away, and I am continually taught to wait for the right time. I am learning how to trust that what is needed will appear and am taught time again that "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." AND "When the teacher is ready the student will appear."
On your journey, weigh out everything inside of you, and trust your own knowing what is right for you. Do not believe something just because someone says that it is true. Trust yourself. Accept that you can become your own Shaman, your own connection to the Creator, your self. When you find the paths that are right for you take what works and discard the rest. Blend all that fits with you. Celebrate your spirituality!
Racism seems to be a lot like "jealousy". Everyone responds to being called "jealous" with three incredulous questions: "Who? Me? Jealous? Racism is an attitude and a set actions or inactions designed to thwart an individual/ group from making progress and enjoying life. It is really a conscious or unconscious effort to reduce the lifestyle and humanity of the victims. It is often like an undeclared war on the self-esteem of the victims and attacks their mental and emotional health. The psychological assaults occur in the job, the school, the playground, the church, the checkout counter, the restaurant door, the welfare line and the suspect line-up.
The word racism is "dirty" and often associated with Nazism and the South in it's abuse of Black kidnapped en masse from Africa to be enslaved on U.S. plantations. The word is so dirty that legislation has been set up to outlaw it's practice in Canada and the U.S. In fact, the guilt associated with racism by individuals and institutions (including churches and governments) is so high that programs and legislation have been created to facilitate the rapid entry of victims into training, jobs, improved housing and even the administration of "self-government" of Indian Reserves. The "self-government" of an empoverished Aboriginal people whose wealth and prosperity were confiscated by the joint action of the Hudson's Bay Company and the Dominion of Canada in 1870. (A little known Canadian event covered-up by a series of contrived "Indian Treaties" begun in 1871, with support from the Roman Catholic Church).
These treaties were to acquire, by purchase and agreement, Indian Lands for the settlement of Canada. Today, Canadians believe that this actually occurred and believe it was very fair, humane and statesman-like. This contrived purchase from the Indians was done one year after the Aboriginal Lands of "Rupertsland" and the "Northwest Territories" had already been sold and purchased. The terms included: £300,000 (1.2 million 1870 dollars), vast territories of land for speculation, and "commercial reserve lands" for the use of The Bay in each settlement that occurs in the future. There is no record of how much The Bay received for the railway "right of way" that formed the route of the CPR to the Pacific coast which every Canadian child learns in school. It is "The National Policy", of Sir John A. McDonald, father of Confederation!
However, having stated the foregoing, such well intended "catch-up" or mitigation programs do not work. It seems it is because the behavior of the victims has become "self-defeating". It is not long before the goodwill resulting from the pacification of guilt is replaced by feelings of reinforced justification. "The victims are poor and getting poorer not because of racism, but because they do not care for themselves, their children, their families, neighborhoods and communities". They are like this because of their culture and because they are lazy! After all look at the daily papers of Manitoba over the last two years.
Missing from all of this internal discussion is an examination of what racism does to the victim at the emotional, psychological, spiritual and physical levels. Is it possible that racism, including its intention to thwart and cause the victim frustration, creates a psychological response? Is it possible that such victims having experienced suppression as failure in all aspects of their lives develop "learned helplessness"? Is it possible that the level of perceived failure is such that it results in feelings of "shame"? Is it like the feeling of shame and violation which is experienced by women who have been raped? Does the shame arise from feeling that the violation could have been avoided by the victim? Does the victim and society begin to accept the victim's lot in life when the violation occurs more than once? Does society become habituated to the victim and lose respect for the victim if the violation becomes routine? Does the victim become like the boy who cried "Wolf"? Would the people have lost interest in the boy even if each distress call was real?
A "pathogen" is anything which causes disease including mental disease/illness. It is like a carcinogen which causes cancer. Therefore, a carcinogen is a pathogenic for the specific disease of cancer. In a similar way, is it not possible that "racism" is pathogenic for the social and economic condition of the victims? Does this not account for the "common symptoms" of Indians and other indigenous peoples of the world?
Research into the socioeconomic state of victims of racism is beginning to isolate a pattern of behavior and beliefs among victims regardless of color, locale, culture, severity and duration of suppression (thwarting). This "new" social or psychological discovery is the result of research conducted by those who have an interest in this social phenomena - members of groups and races that were and continue to be targets of abuses. It seems that scholars who are not victims are not moved to find answers to the real reasons of poverty and self-defeating behavior. As education levels increase for the victims and they reach the masters and doctorate levels, they are motivated to find out why they and their families and communities exhibit the identical defeatist mentality which shows up in their eyes and their behavior.
The pattern of the disease caused by the pathogenic nature of racism exhibits a pattern of symptoms from which the psychological disease is identified. You guessed it, the symptoms include:
A high level of alcohol, drug, and solvent abuse as
well as a high propensity for mood altering substances including food,
cigarettes and mood altering activities such as parties, sex, gambling
, violence, etc.
A low level of social cohesion including values and
beliefs which promotes individualism but which disintegrates, often with
violence in the family and community in general.
A low level of personal and social esteem and a high
level of suicidal depression coupled with a self image which accepts poverty
as virtuous and rejects notions of prosperity.
It does not take a genius to conclude that the Aboriginal People of Canada exhibit the foregoing symptoms. Review the statistics from Statistics Canada to confirm the symptoms. It also does not take a genius to understand that special programs including affirmative action and prohibition of racial discrimination cannot work for the majority of victims because their beliefs are too deeply ingrained to respond appropriately to opportunities to move from poverty to prosperity.
By analogy, if you will view a victim of racism as an "environment" which is perhaps a hot and dry desert, you will know that "cactus" grows well in these conditions. If you took that same environment and wanted to grow "grass lawns " it would not suffice to simply lay more grass seed or sod. The seed would not grow and the sod would dry up, die and blow away.
If we want grass to grow in the desert then we have to make changes to the environment. In other words, we cannot create change by importing more seed or sod. We cannot grow grass by superimposing those things that are designed for a grass environment. This is what is done when we add more schools, more recreation, more housing, more money and more training programs that result in high failure rates. Change the environment first and then add the grass!
Once the environment is properly prepared then the schools, housing, money, and training programs would work as designed. Specifically, the present statistics in Aboriginal education, employment and general social and economic conditions would be reversed. Communities would literally take-off. Their destination would be social and economic parity. The parity destination is simply arriving at a level playing field. The level playing field means social and economic confidence where Aboriginals move from living and suffering in the "problem" to living and enjoying prosperity in the "solution".
The Jews were victims many times in history and are now listed as having the lowest levels of alcohol, drug and solvent abuse and they enjoy the distinction of having the highest number of doctorates per capita in the world. They also demonstrate literally that grass can be grown in the desert if you change the environment first! How did they overcome their victim state as individuals, families and communities?
They focussed on their traditions which maintained their mental health throughout the violations and abuses. This empowered them to inoculate themselves from the psychological damage from racial abuse. It was as though they were experienced mariners upon the sea of life. They accepted the Wind (racial abuse from the powerful) as something they could not stop or control. However, they knew who they were and the nature and power of the Wind. With this knowledge they could remain focussed on their destination and not be suppressed or thwarted by the Wind regardless if it blew directly against them. They simply trimmed their sails and proceeded to move and live in their own magnificence and personal power.
The Christian missionaries went for our spiritual jugular vein and psychological and emotional underpinnings when they attacked our values, beliefs, teachings and traditions for social, economic cohesion and mental health. This form of racial abuse and suppression destroyed our psychological immune system and much like the AIDS VIRUS, and made us susceptible to "Racial Abuse Syndrome". We succumbed and like Alkali Lake, B.C., we too disintegrated into 100% alcoholism, suicidal depression and internalized violence among ourselves and our families. We lost our vision and as the adage observes, "Where there is no vision, the people perish." Like Alkali Lake, we too must heal Racial Abuse Syndrome in order to take a New Direction and trim our sails accordingly and consistently. We have the maps and the strategies to sail into our future. Join us at a Discovering The Power Within workshop. Discover how to heal yourself, your family and your community.
by John Tozeland
Reprinted from the Manitoba Association of Social Workers Journal May 1992
Due to extensive transiency and high caseloads, school social workers, psychologists and counsellors working in inner city schools must find ways of maximizing the therapeutic contact with students and their families. The use of Time Line Therapy tm for assisting inner city youth and their families to overcome the devastating effects of physical and sexual abuse, drug and alcohol abuse and mood disorders, is proving to be an effective tool for some school social workers and counsellors in Winnipeg.
Working as a School Social Worker in the inner city requires a great deal of ingenuity and creativity. The students are extremely transient, many moving several times a year, and a high proportion of them living in single parent families. Over the past several years, the number of immigrant families has also increased steadily. Many of these children have come from war torn countries and have witnessed a great deal of violence. The stories of these children are full of abuse and neglect. When we get a chance to work with these children and their families, because of high caseloads, transiency and absenteeism, we need to intervene quickly, and in useful ways. Our clients are used to seeing social workers and other helpers, and frequently do not like to talk about their "problem". A useful intervention for me is Time Line Therapy tm, which has proven to be an effective technique for creating quick and long term change for adolescents and their families. One of the reasons for its success is that it is not a talking therapy. In my experience, Time Line Therapy tm creates change at the unconscious level through releasing negative emotions and changing limiting decisions.
Time Line Therapy tm was developed by Dr. Tad James and Dr. Wyatt Woodsmall, both of whom are Master Trainers of Neuro-Linguistic Programming. They used their NLP knowledge extensively in the development of Time Line Therapy tm. The underlying assumptions are that all learning, all behaviour, and all change is unconscious, and that the unconscious mind is the domain of all emotions. When significant emotional experiences (or traumas) happen, if the emotion is not released, it becomes locked inside the body. It is as if individuals put the negative emotions in a black bag, and push them way down inside so as not to experience them. At the same time, they may make a decision limiting their view of the world.
I have worked extensively with suicidal, depressed teens, and have found that they have inevitably made a decision in the past that they were unlovable, bad, etc. These decisions and beliefs cannot be adequately released in traditional talking therapies. Anyone who has worked with these kids knows that it is not easy to convince them that they are good, lovable people, since it is not the conscious mind that holds the belief; it is the unconscious mind. Time and time again I have observed kids that have improved their self esteem, and thus their behaviour through Time Line Therapy tm. I believe that what needs to happen is that the child must go back in time, release the negative emotions, and heal the event. In my experience in the schools, students usually experienced some relief in an hour or so. This is not to say that they were cured, but the crisis was dealt with. Deeper long term change requires more time, but this is also fairly brief in nature, compared to traditional talking therapies.
I often use the analogy of a stew pot when explaining the effect of holding on to negative emotions. My mother always made stew in a great big pressure cooker. She would cut up the vegetables and meat and put them in the pressure cooker along with tomatoes and other sauces, and then turn up the heat and wait for the stew to cook. Before long, the pot would start to hiss, and mom would turn down the heat so the stew could just simmer for a while. If the heat was not turned down soon enough, the hissing would continue, and the pot would be in danger of exploding. When I started dealing with people who experienced run-away emotions, I could not help but see the similarity. If there was too much stress (heat) in their lives, they would be in danger of "boiling over". When we took the lid off and emptied some of the stew out, even with a lot of heat, the pot would not boil over and the individual would be more in control.
If people carry around stored up emotions from the past, the emotions may surface to conscious awareness at any time. In fact, I believe that one of the prime directives of the unconscious mind is to present repressed memories from time to time for the purpose of releasing the unresolved emotions in them. Most people have experienced times when they start to feel a negative emotion for no apparent reason. For some people, when they relax, or when they lie down to go to sleep, these emotions are presented. For others, these emotions may be triggered by a certain look, a tone of voice, or a certain object. The unconscious mind is just attempting to get rid of these emotions, but our response is usually to push them away again. Yet when these emotions from the past are truly released, it is as if the anchors from the past that have been holding us back let go and we feel freed.
In my experience with Time Line Therapy tm, when negative emotions and limiting decisions are released, there is a subsequent chain reaction along the Time Line, releasing other negative emotions that are connected to that originating event. This not only clears the negative emotions from the past, but the future is also rearranged in light of the release of these emotions. This puts the client in control. I believe the ultimate goal of all therapy is empowerment, connecting clients with their own sources of power and control. For me, Time Line Therapy tm provides an excellent process for this.
The phrase Time Line Therapy tm is a registered trade mark of Tad James and is exclusively licenced to the Time Line Therapy tm Association
As counsellors, therapists and teachers, we need to continually search for more efficient and effective ways to impact students. In these days of cutbacks, mainstreaming, and an increase in the number of needy children, we have to learn better ways to help students learn, improve their self esteem and develop social skills.
In most of my training as a Social Worker, I was taught to communicate only with the Conscious Mind. I believe the same is true in most disciplines. The belief of the day was, perhaps put simply, "All I need to do is to convince my client that their present behavior is not useful, and they will change their ways." I discovered very quickly that this did not work. How many times have you made up your mind to lose weight, or change some behavior, only to find that you could not follow through? What I discovered is that there is another very important part to all people, the Unconscious Mind. I found that I had to learn how to communicate with the Unconscious Mind if I wanted to make significant changes with my clients. because all learning, all habit, and all behavior is maintained at the Unconscious level.
I started a search for this information eighteen years ago, and very quickly found the fields of Hypnosis and Neuro-linguistic Programming to have the information I was looking for. Skills such as: developing deep rapport, pacing and leading, the use of hypnotic language patterns, etc. have proven to be invaluable skills for me. All of these skills are needed to successfully use Guided Imagery and Metaphor.
Learning how to develop your own metaphors, how to establish rapport with your students' Unconscious Mind, how to give embedded commands to the Unconscious Mind, how to override conscious resistance,how to establish states such as curiosity, quiet learning, group participation, etc. are all examples of skills that can be easily learned.
The next time you are with a resistant student, match your breathing with your students, match their physiology (leaning the way they do etc), and match their voice tone, tempo and volume. Notice if this affects your rapport. Once you have done this for a few minutes, you can begin slowing down your breathing, and voice tempo and at the same time lower your voice and volume. This will assist your client to relax, and open the Unconscious Mind for communication. When talking, use the exact words that your client uses, in exactly the same way. This will help establish deep rapport.
Once rapport is established, you can tell a story that has a message for your student. There are several things to keep in mind when developing a therapeutic metaphor:
Develop main character within a similar environment
to the child
Establish the problem in relation to the main character
Develop obstacles and villans to represent the child's
fears and negative beliefs, and develop heros or helpers to represent the
child's strengths and resources.
Provide learning experiences where the main character
expands on their resources.
Show how main character uses their resources to overcome
the crisis.
Expand on the feeling of empowerment the character
has when the obstacles are overcome.
Celebrate the character's increased sense of self worth
as a result of the successful compleation of the story.
These are a few suggestion for the use of Guided Imagery and Metaphor, but I have missed the most important rule of all......Have fun!
One of the exciting aspects of my career as a school social worker is the direct involvement with children. The students I see range in age from 4 to 16 years old. Although the presenting problems vary considerably, it has my experience that there is always an underlying emotional base to dysfunctional behaviour.
There are many avenues of addressing this issue. Working with parents, the family, teachers and the individual are all intervention strategies.. For the purpose of this discussion I wish to focus on the individual work with the student. Given the nature of my working environment I generally have at best, thirty to forty minutes with each student. I must, therefore, make my interventions brief and pointed in order to maximize limited time constraints. The skills of NLP and Time Line Therapy tm, lend themselves very effectively to my situation.
Basic beliefs I have when working with children begin with the belief they are telling you their story in their own way. The challenge is to read the metaphorical language accurately. Children are very understanding, forgiving and tenacious. If you are on the wrong track they will let you know, usually by withdrawing, misbehaving or becoming distracted. Once you come back on track they will continue their story. The indicators I have noticed of when I'm off track are the child's distractibility to the task, or they withdraw from the activity or they say "Can I go back to class now" (the very direct approach if I am particularly dense that day).
Another basic belief is that they have the emotional resources within them to handle whatever difficulties they are experiencing. I also belief that children (or any person) are doing the best they can, given their life circumstances at that moment in time. Of paramount concern during therapy with children is that they are physically and emotionally safe with you.
I begin first with the telling of their story. This is critical to the ongoing assessment of their emotional state as well as resolution of the negative emotions. Frequently with children 10 and under I will have them draw to express themselves. Through their art, themes arise which illustrate their inner emotional state. From this a therapeutic metaphor or story will frequently arise where emotional and physical resources are put in the story to solve the problem. This assists the child to discover and utilize the resources within themselves. Suggestions are made which enhance the child's strengths, which have already been observed, and are then incorporated into the story. The unconscious mind will automatically use what parts they need or store it for a later time when more resources are needed to handle life's circumstances. Storytelling using appropriate books are also effective and assist in the metaphor, although in a more generalized way. Always there is the underlying message that the child can and is solving their difficulties. Some children I see are not very articulate in expressing themselves verbally. This could be due to either developmental delays, poor language skills or fear they will not be safe if they speak of their experiences. These fears can be either conscious or not. Besides stories and art, puppets and games are all useful to assist children to find a medium to express themselves and to evaluate their strengths and difficulties. The language I use is affirming to the child, validates their feelings and encourages them to be themselves. One of the beliefs taught in the NLP training is that the unconscious mind cannot hold a negative. For instance if I say do not think of a purple house, you have to think of it first before you can know what not think of. Therefore with children I attempt to state my feedback to them in positive terms rather than negatives ones. For instance, if they are having a difficult time learning I would say that school is not easy right now as opposed toits really hard. Although I may not be doing directed, specific tasks with the child, especially if they are seeing me because someone else thinks they have a problem, I am always conscious of giving positive, affirming feedback to them which suggests they are able to change. This is done with the belief that the unconscious mind accepts all information and acts with the intention of keeping the person safe.
When working with children who are true "clients", that is they themselves have difficulties they want changed, I am able to use more direct specific techniques. This is where Time Line Therapytm is effective in releasing negative emotions or changing limiting beliefs. Some children have difficulty with the concept of a time line but they are usually quite adventurous as well as imaginative and once rapport has been established, they will usually take an experimental attitude with doing this. I also use a variety of techniques from NLP such as anchoring, visual squash (which most children get into very easily and have no difficulty in imagining their conflicting parts), Hallways of the Mind is another favorite and children accept the concept very easily of the part of them that the doorway represents, changing negative emotions and new behaviour generator. In these situations the child is an active participant in making specific changes.
I often use guided imagery as a way of assisting children to understand and further explore their inner self. Imagination, pretending and fantasy are all very natural, normal states for children. They very easily access these states and really enjoy it, as it lends itself very naturally to the elements of play. In this state I am able to incorporate many positive affirmations which go directly to the child's unconscious mind. These affirmations generally pertain to valuing oneself, experiencing love for oneself, the abilities the child has to solve their own problems and a sense of inner peacefulness. On the whole, I have found most children respond very positively. They enjoy the freedom of imagination and play. Most of the techniques used are seen as fun and are non-threatening. They always know they are there to feel happier and I always respect their inherent need to express themselves and to be heard.
by John Tozeland
The first key to establishing positive, healthy working relationships is to develop rapport with your colleagues/staff/customers. Rapport is the science of being comfortable with others. It is the ability to reduce the perceived differences between people quickly. Have you ever noticed how when you meet some people, you seem to instantly like them and want to spend time with them, while with others you seem to want to get as far away from them as possible? What we experience in those situations is an unconscious response to them. Many of the tools discussed here you may already be doing at an unconscious level, but the purpose of the discussion is for you to understand the skills consciously. Then with conscious practise, your unconscious rapport skills will increase dramatically.
One does not have to look far to understand the saying "When you like someone, you want to be like them." Have you ever noticed how close friends and family members have the same gestures and sayings? This is perhaps most noticeable when observing the teen culture and their dress styles and vernacular. They seem to be totally comfortable around "their own kind" but often uncomfortable around different cultures or groups. The key to Rapport is being like the other person. Therefore the best communicators are flexible in their communication.
In 1970 Dr. Birdwhistle studied communication. As reported in his book "Kinesics & Communication" only 7% of the meaning of communication is conveyed by words. A full 38% of the communication is conveyed by the tone of voice, and a whopping 55% is conveyed by our physiology. That means that a total of 93% of our communication is unconscious.
Next time you are talking with someone, pay attention to their physiology. Notice the position of their spine, is it bent or straight? Are they leaning to one side or another? Are their arms crossed, or at their side? What position are their feet and legs? Do they make steady or intermittent eye contact? How quickly or slowly do they breathe? Once you notice what their body is doing, copy it as if watching a mirror. If their right leg is crossed over their left leg, you cross your left leg over your right thus when you look at them they are in the mirror image of you. Once you have mirrored their physiology, then pay attention to their breathing, and match your breathing with them. If you do this successfully, you will be surprised at how comfortable you will feel with that person. One sign of good rapport is when they say that you remind them of someone. To know if you really have good rapport, change your position, or speed of breathing and see if they follow you, if they do you know rapport is established, if not then mirror them longer.
There is a saying in Neuro-linguistic Programming that there are no inflexible clients, only inflexible communicators. NLP also says that there is nofailure, only feedback. If you end up in a power struggle with someone, or are feeling uncomfortable with them, then change what you are doing because you obviously do not have rapport yet.
Remember of course that the purpose of rapport is so that you may both be comfortable in your communication and attain your mutually established goals, thus achieving a win/win situation causing your working relationships to be more healthy and your workplace more productive.
Few people realise how to really communicate effectively. At best, we usually pick our words carefully as to their meaning, but do not consider how to say what we want. Take for example some teachers or public speakers that you have heard. Have you ever noticed how listening to some just put you to sleep, and that when you listen to others you may feel like you can really trust them and believe what they are saying. Expert communicators use very specific ways of communicating that draws the listener into a close trusting relationship. Recently, we have begun to understand these forms of communication, these Unconscious Tools of Influence, and after intensive study we can effectively teach these skills.
This article is the first in a series discussing these specific skills. Since skills that influence the unconscious mind have a very powerful impact on the listener, it is important first to enter into a discussion on the ethics of communication.
In the sales world, we all know sales people ( I hesitate to call them Sales Professionals) whose only purpose or goal is to make a sale at any cost. Their interest is not in the client, but in the sale. They might make a lot of sales, but their repeat business would definitely suffer. If you are not interested in establishing a long term relationship with your client base, and think that referrals from satisfied customers is not important for your business, then this "sell & run" business might be OK.
Of course another facet of sales that is often overlooked is how you feel about your job. As a friend of mine once said after learning how to ethically use the unconscious tools of influence, " I now make great sales, and I can still live with myself." We all know about the devastating affects of stress in our professional and personal lives. What we are discovering now is that a large amount of stress is directly due to us behaving in conflict with our inner morality and values. Being of service to others is a primary motivator for a large percentage of the population. People who are the happiest and most successful in their jobs highly value their role of helping their clients/customers/colleagues. Their job is more of a mission than a job.
Neuro-linguistic Programming is the study of how to use language to communicate effectively, and reprogram the unconscious mind. And since all learning, all behaviour and all change are unconscious, wouldn't it be good to learn how to speak to the unconscious mind? The information that will be contained in these articles comes from my extensive study in the fields of Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) and Hypnosis.
Ethics is really an attitude, a state of mind. To be an ethical sales professional, it is important to truly value the service or product that you are representing. However even if you have the best product in the world, you have to match your customer's needs to your product. That is the basis of ethical sales. You see it is not a matter of convincing your customer that he needs your product, but a matter of discovering your customer's needs and then finding the product or service that meets those needs. It is in these early stages of communication with your customer that your relationship is established. If you truly respect your customer, and you have a strong desire/mission to make it easy for him to access the product/service that he needs, then both you and the customer win in the sale. This kind of win/win attitude is the key to an ethical. productive professional life.
by John Tozeland
Rapport is the science of being comfortable with others. It is the ability to reduce the perceived differences between people quickly. Have you ever noticed how when you meet some people, you seem to instantly like them and want to spend time with them, while with others you seem to want to get as far away from them as possible? What we experience in those situations is an unconscious response to them. Many of the tools discussed here you may already be doing at an unconscious level, but the purpose of the discussion is for you to understand the skills consciously. Then with conscious practise, your unconscious rapport skills will increase dramatically.
One does not have to look far to understand the saying "When you like someone, you want to be like them." Have you ever noticed how close friends and family members have the same gestures and sayings? This is perhaps most noticeable when observing the teen culture and their dress styles and vernacular. They seem to be totally comfortable around "their own kind" but often uncomfortable around different cultures or groups. The key to Rapport is being like the other person. Therefore the best communicators are flexible in their communication.
In 1970 Dr. Birdwhistle studied communication. As reported in his book "Kinesics & Communication" only 7% of the meaning of communication is conveyed by words. A full 38% of the communication is conveyed by the tone of voice, and a whopping 55% is conveyed by our physiology. That means that a total of 93% of our communication is unconscious.
Next time you are talking with someone, pay attention to their physiology. Notice the position of their spine, is it bent or straight? Are they leaning to one side or another? Are their arms crossed, or at their side? What position are their feet and legs? Do they make steady or intermittent eye contact? How quickly or slowly do they breathe? Once you notice what their body is doing, copy it as if watching a mirror. If their right leg is crossed over their left leg, you cross your left leg over your right thus when you look at them they are in the mirror image of you. Once you have mirrored their physiology, then pay attention to their breathing, and match your breathing with them. If you do this successfully, you will be surprised at how comfortable you will feel with that person. One sign of good rapport is when they say that you remind them of someone. To know if you really have good rapport, change your position, or speed of breathing and see if they follow you, if they do you know rapport is established, if not then mirror them longer.
There is a saying in Neuro-linguistic Programming that there are no inflexible clients, only inflexible communicators. NLP also says that there is no failure, only feedback. If you end up in a power struggle with someone, or are feeling uncomfortable with them, then change what you are doing because you obviously do not have rapport yet.
Remember of course that the purpose of rapport is so that you may both be comfortable in your communication and attain your mutually established goals, thus achieving a win/win situation.
by: John Tozeland
Have you ever wondered why some people just do not understand what you are attempting to say? It makes perfect sense to you, but they don't understand. Why don't they understand? In Neuro-linguistic Programming there is a saying that "The word is not the event." This refers to the fact that no two people interpret words the same way. Take for example the word "picnic". For some people that may bring to mind positive thoughts of picnicking in the park. For others it may be a picnic on a beach. For still others, they may think about all of the ants, and bugs. For each person the word picnic brings about different associations. The reason for this is that our Unconscious Mind filters all information that is received. Each of us has our own unique set of filters.
Did you know that your Unconscious Mind processes over 2 million bits of information every second? That is an incredible amount of information. If you were to process all of that information consciously, your Conscious Mind would become totally overloaded. According to Miller, Galanter and Prebrum in the article "The Magic Number 7 plus or minus 2", we can only hold 7 plus or minus 2 bits of information at a time in our Conscious Mind. The amazing thing is that your Unconscious Mind stores all of the rest, and decides what to pass on to the Conscious Mind. The question is "How does the Unconscious Mind decide what to pass on?" Well the answer is in the filters. The filters cause us to distort, delete, or generalize the information. These filters are a result of our past experiences, our beliefs, and our values. As result of our filters, we each interpret the word in our own unique way. That is not to say that one of us is right, we are all right given our past experiences. In Neuro-linguistic Programming there is a saying that people do the best they can with the resources that they have.
When you compliment some people they will accept it (generalize that they do well), while others will think you don't mean it, or think that they don't deserve it, (Distort) and still others will just not hear it (delete). These distortions, deletions and generalizations continually affect the way we perceive the world, and thus have a major impact on our behavior. In fact all behavior as well as our emotional state depends on our filters. Knowing your filters, and those of the people with whom you are communicating is of utmost importance. However of more importance is your clearing out of the non-supportive filters. You will not be operating at your best if your filters are clogged. If you are reacting to the world around you, if you are distorting, deleting or generalizing the information you are receiving, then the chance of being in rapport with the people you are communicating with is very low. Remember that people like someone who is like them. Therefore the more you are perceived to be like others, the more effective your communication will be.
How precisely do the filters work? Lets say that you receive a communication from outside our body. That communication might be something you see, hear, smell etc. As a result of the communication and our internal interpretation of it we react in a certain way. What causes each of us to react in our own unique ways is our filters. The filters are actually made up of our past experiences, repressed emotions, beliefs and values. That is why each of us may react differently in the same situation. Have you ever wondered why some people returned from the Vietnam war with post traumatic stress syndrome, and others who experienced exactly the same atrocities were fine? Or have you noticed how some people can adapt quite easily to change in the work setting, while others seem totally unable to accept change. Well the answer lies in the filters. Our filters affect our interpretation of the world,and that in return affects our behaviour. How often do certain situations trigger a negative response from you? Does a certain tone of voice set off negative emotions. Does not feeling totally confident prevent you from doing what you want? Do you procrastinate taking action? The ideal state of being is to clear out all of the disempowering filters in the Unconscious Mind. In that state, information is processed clearly and cleanly, with no distortions, deletions or generalizations. The information is just received and is responded to as opposed to reacted to. Recognizing your own and other people's filters is essential for all effective communicators. Once you know your filters, then the next step is to neutralize and change the disempowering filters. The study of Neuro-linguistic Programming is about understanding and mastering the Unconscious Mind. It is the study of how to clear the unconscious filters.
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